Sundried Tomato Zucchini Linguine:)

I made...Sundried tomato zucchini linguine tonight...and it rawked! It was my first attempt at such an entree. I pureed pre-soaked sundried tomatoes with a chopped tomato, clove of garlic, 1/2 an avocado, green onions and parsley, and served that over zucchini that I had grated by hand. Man, it was soo good!

Really Raw Day 4

So, end of Day 4, liking the lack of pain I'm feeling (relatively speaking). My energy was a bit lax today, but I've come to realize that I hate what I do, so I figure that's a contributing factor! I'm keen on sticking with raw until at least December. More about my job, since it's my blog: I work at a cafe, started by my friend a few years ago. I was with her BEFORE the beginning, since she brought me on to teach her the ropes of the cafe/book world. I love the cafe, my friend and I are still friends after 3 years of doing this, but I just don't want to serve people animal products anymore. Latte after latte, Do you want whip cream with that? I could scream some days, it makes me crazy to have to make grilled cheeses! Even the smell of many cooked foods turns me off, which I'm hoping isn't permanent:)

Anyhoo, time for a change, and it is on it's way. As of November 15th, I've rented an old Victorian house in my hometown with friends, where I will practice as a herbalist, run my tea company, and run seminars and workshops. I can't wait!

Really Raw Day 3

Great news - I've been completely raw for 2 full days now, and this is the morning of my third day. I've been getting through the cravings for cooked rice and other starches with lots of fruit, and the green smoothies are definitely boosting my energy. I feel pretty darn good - the pain I am accustomed to being in is almost completely gone. I've had the misfortune of being in a couple of car accidents, and had been overweight for most of my life. This has resulted in upper and lower back pain, arthritic hips, neck injury, etc. Not to mention the bunions. These I've had all of my life and made it worse in my teen years and theatre days by jamming my feet into ill-fitting yet stylish shoes:)

I am happy to report that I feel pretty darn good today! Before I decided to commit to raw, I quit coffee so that the first few days of my raw experience wouldn't be too nasty. Now that the worst is over, I know the best is yet to come. What I love about raw from what I've learned is that the results are GUARANTEED if you stick with it, and you can make your food as complicated or as simple as you wish. When I went vegetarian, I had to teach myself a new way of cooking, and I look at raw in a similar light, except that I've got a major headstart! Going vegetarian helped me to lose 75+ lbs, and keep it off for almost 8 years. I can only imagine how much it extended my lifespan! Now, I'm hoping raw will help me to lose that last 25 - 30 lbs, and extend my lifespan even more:)

Abientot!

Giving Thanks - Sunday, October 12, 2008

Not much time to write today, cuz I have to work. It's thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, so I have monday off, and an opportunity to reflect on what I'm grateful for.

I commented on a friend's journal today and realized my comment was sort of becoming a journal, so I felt that it was a good idea to continue the thought in my own journal. So, to pick up where I left off:

I'm doing pretty well not trying, Geneen Roth style. For the first couple of days, I ate whatever I wanted, but the crazy thing is, my appetite is not the same when I'm not under the self-induced pressure of another diet. I've found myself noticing how food makes me feel, and am actually craving greens now. I was going to make broccoli and cheese with rice pasta last night, and was bummed out when I realized I didn't have any broccoli:)

It's still kinda scary, I'm realizing how hard it has been to trust myself. I'm doing all of this while knowing that I indeed have an addiction to sugar. Since sugar is a chemical isomer to cocaine, I don't doubt that it is acting on my body just like any drug. Fine. I've decided not to avoid it, because I'm coming to understand that the psychology of food avoidance can be just as strong as chemical addiction.

I've also realized that I have a very sensitive stomach, and highly acidic foods like sugars and flours give me a feeling in my stomach that sort of mimicks hunger and serves to confuse me. This has been happening to me since I was a child! This means that I have a food sensitivity, and I do have other symptoms.

It's hard not to plan my next diet. I'm frustrated, because I still have signs of toxicity, some of which I've experienced my entire life. I need a lymphatic cleansing in an extreme way, but fasting is not beneficial in a case like mine, where psychology and physical addiction are key influences. So, I'm going to continue to trust my intelligence and intuition, and just hope that I flow toward a path that is in my best interest.

I'll tell ya, trying to listen to my body, my will, my inner child and my intellect is complicated. It can be a bit like dealing with internal terrorists at times!


Namaste

It's good to have goals Wednesday, October 8, 2008

No doubt about it, it's good to have goals. But, it's also good to be honest with yourself, and I've come to understand that I do way better when I'm not modifying my eating habits a la dieting/cleansing etc. When I'm under pressure of starting a new nutritional regime, there's always that "last" muffin or coffee or brownie, what-have-you. When I'm not about to diet, I generally make healthy choices, with the odd indulgence. I've deleted all of my goals, I'm trying out a new approach of not trying, and of letting myself choose, knowing that I will choose wisely. I know what healthy food is, I know what my body needs. I am not going to go crazy, and I will enjoy things a helluva a lot more if I'm not judging myself on everything I put into my mouth.

Exercise. I don't like strength training, and I don't particularly like treadmills (except that they calculate your time and km's, which is helpful.) But I don't want my life to be about that. I like yoga, pilates, and hiking, out in nature with my dogs and my best friend/partner/boyfriend.

I'm determined to get busy enjoying my life, and creating activity that cultivates expansiveness, meditation and communion with nature.

Anyhoo, it seems that I'm on the verge of starting a wellness centre with a couple of other women! We went to view our potential spot, a Victorian mansion in the town where I was born. It was the original hospital in town, and I think we are going to go for it. It has a few ghosts, most prominent was a nurse that used to work there, but she's benign, and I felt something else in the nursery, but I'm not quite sure...it felt like many different presences there...it's going to cost a lot of money initially to get started, but I don't feel like this is going to be a major problem for us. My solar plexus gave me the a-ok feeling when we discussed it today, and it feels right!

I'm very very very very very very excited about this new venture. It's time, and I know that I have a lot to offer my hometown. The group of women that will be running this clinic is composed of strong, compassionate and genuine women, and I think we are going to do very well.

Ahhhh....ciao for now!!

Action update Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Had a neuromuscular therapy treatment this am, then did pilates and a half hour of cardio. I used one of the bikes today, and I think it might be a better way to get into the fitness habit, since it's not as hard on my hips and feet...I have bunions and they can be pretty painful sometimes. Though less so now since I've been detoxing.

My boyfriend tried this Immune tonic tea we had and broke out in a rash a few days ago, and we've been dealing with the healing. I've been treating him with a variety of topical solutions, primarily aloe vera gel with tea tree oil, and lidocaine, a topical pain soother. As he recalls, the same thing has happened with some of his friends with the very same tea. Interesting...makes me want to learn more about Comptonia peregrina, or Sweet Fern. It's a plant native to these parts.

Ciao!

I just can't seem to HATE myself anymore! Saturday, August 2, 2008

I had a bit of a backslide today, right into a bucket of coffee and crappy food...it was a day full of family, and I think that I can attribute the stress eating to that, since I do really really well when I'm not around them...LOL!!

So, I had made arrangements with my dad's sister to meet for lunch today so she could return the family bibles to me (passed onto me after my father's death). She brought my wee little scottish gramma with her so we could catch up. We met at a diner in my hometown, and I had one of those old school greasy diner breakfasts-ya know, coffee, home fries, greek omelette (one of the only vegetarian options of course!) with rye toast, slathered in what was likely margarine. I knew that lunch was likely going to be crappy, so for breakfast I had fresh carrot-apple juice mixed with a greens concentrate. But, being up at dawn as it were today, I was getting pretty hungry by 10 am.

By that point, I had stopped to visit my sister, who lives in my dad's old house. She offered me tea, and the tannins made my stomach hurt so I had to eat something to make it stop...and the only vegetarian option is cold fucking pizza...so that made my lunch ten times worse!

I went to the grocery store after lunch, to get some fresh veggies and kidney beans for a chili I plan to make tomorrow night, and ran into my mother there. She told me to come to her house and she would give me some freezer veggies for my dogs (I'm making their food for them for a couple days-allergy testing).

My grandfather (her father) had visited her that morning, and there was a box of Tim Horton's donuts there...and before I know it I had a blueberry fritter...and then a double chocolate donut!

She gave me a half a loaf of bread from her freezer, and I left it out to thaw for the dogs...and ended up having two slices with peanut butter, and then two more slices with my organic potato leek soup...

That was one helluva binge day! Reminiscent of the good ole days, LOL...the major difference is that right now, I'm ok...normally I would be really, really upset and hate myself for a bit. Spend the rest of the day thinking about how I would make up for it this week through exercise or restricted eating...but I'm not. I still love me, I'm not sitting here drafting a strict regime for the next 6 weeks, I'm actually pretty content and have forgiven myself already.

That, my friends, is a major breakthrough for me!! If I can understand the triggers, identify the warning signs, I can nip these old habits in the bud.

I'm on the second day of my period today. I'm going to let that be a good reason to let this slide. That, and the fact that I love myself too much now to abuse myself over something that is in the past now. All I have is this moment...and this one, and this one, and this one....

Namaste my lovelies!! Hope y'all had a good saturday;)