New Year's Eve stock up

I'm normally not one to make resolutions, but this year I decided it was worth a try. So, I joined the 100 Day Raw Challenge on www.rawfu.com.

My game plan is to make sure that the majority of my diet consists of fruit and greens, with nuts and oils etc. kept to a minimum. Just enough to get the benefits, not so much that I get too many calories from fat. I wanna really clean house this year, especially my lymph system.

Today, I restocked the pantry.

I think I will have greater success over this next 100 days if I blog it or vlog it often. As a part of my rawfu discipline, I plan to record my grocery lists and totals. Laborious, yes, but worthwhile research for the argument about raw food being more expensive.

Without further ado:

3.05 lb tub of Pitted Honey Dates @ $5
280 g Pecans in shell@ $3.49
1 fennel/anise bulb@ $1.69
2 x 4.4 oz. blueberries@ $4
1 celery@ $1.69
2 broccoli @ $1.50
4 avocadoes (bagged)@ $2.99
1 smallish cantaloupe @$0.88
1 red lettuce @ $1.49
1 x 3 pc. romaine hearts @ $2
3 ataulfo mangoes @ $0.67
4 vine tomatoes = $2.64
1 green onion bunch @$0.59
5 Asian Pears @ $4.77
1 Date Walnut Round @ $2.49
Bananas @ $2.08
1 English (Mexican) cucumber @ $1.79
2 Red Mangoes @ $0.99
3 lb IdaRed Apples @ $2.99
1 Pineapple @ $2.49

Tax: $0.00 Total: $50.05

I went to the cheapest grocery store in town, and was pleased to find that the produce was not overtly international. Lots of it was at least grown on this continent, barring the obvious i.e. pineapple! I am rather accustomed to buying a high percentage of organic, but I'm going to have to refine my shopping and look for deals. Thankfully, my former employer is an organic food delivery service, and I can take 'last week's greens' at a reduced price.

The chick that rang me through charged me for the pineapple twice. Shall rectify that tomorrow perhaps. Maybe that's how they keep their costs low at that grocery store:)

Hope 2008 was good to you,

Happy New Year!

Really Raw - Dairy Queen and french fries

So, around on the 8th of December, I ate some cooked food at my Art Fair Open House for my new office (cooked carbs!) No biggie. Except that it seems like everyday since then I've had something cooked. Overall, no big trauma, since I've managed to maintain about 60-80% raw on average. I had been working up to raw over the previous 3-4 months, so I've made more headway in my diet than I think I would have had I just jumped from SAD to RAW. I really admire those who can do it, but I've had emotional eating patterns that are well rooted in my family tree, and it was important for me to establish that comfortable feeling with things like whole grains, and veggie soups, rather than DQ and french fries!

The diet that I was raised on was HORRIBLE! Pop (or soda to y'all south of the border) flowed like water in my house, and there was always wonder bread and processed cheese, soy margarines and ground beef. The most exotic fruit we ever had was bananas, or the clementines at Xmas. Every year in our stockings my mom would give us a huge navel orange:)

So, in honour of diet re-patterning, for christmas this year for my family (I have two sisters and 1 brother, and 9 nieces and nephews between them!) I want to make up organic exotic fruit gift baskets. I have a wholesale account with an organic grocery company that I used to work for, so I can get loads of goodies for a lot less than conventional!

They're not going to appreciate it. Okay, some of them might. But, I want the ones I love to be healthy, and to cultivate a love of mangoes and fresh pineapple! I think it will be the first time some of them have ever even had these things.

I'm inspired to strive more and more towards raw. Especially since cooked foods are just plain boring compared to the yummy raw creations I have begun to make. That was a bit of a shock for me...how disappointing cooked foods are after being REALLY RAW!

Namaste all, Thanks for reading!

Really Raw Day - 15 I GOOFED up yesterday!

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I went to a restaurant we usually go to in my hometown. I ordered my usual without thinking, and d'oh! At least it was a salad with a veggie wrap, though the veggies were grilled:(

I'm not defeated or upset...however this is a great learning experience, because I felt pretty crappy for the rest of the day! A wonderful illustration of how much what we eat affects how we feel. I could feel the inflammation creeping back into those familiar places, and my oh my, the tummy ache! I think I have always had a level of gluten intolerance, which explains some of the IBS symptoms I had had for most of my life. So, I've learned my lesson. Once you've felt good after feeling really bad for a long time, you don't want to go back! Though I do believe that if I was in a better state of health digestion wise, my body would be better capable of dealing with such transgressions...

Normally, a slight relapse would be a license to jump off the wagon, with a promise to get back into gear the next day. But, I've learned from my mistake - keep it simple, whole and healthy!

Really Raw Day - Day 13 - Raw Coconut Macaroons

I'm amazed at the extra time I have now, LOL! I've been sticking to pretty simple raw creations thus far, and I must say I'm kinda bored at times. I don't mind the fact that it cuts back on dishes, that's for sure...still, I've gotta try making some more complex raw goodies, cuz I know that experimenting will help me to stick with the program.

Actually, it's bizarre how I don't crave the things I used to. I've baked chocolate chip cookies, brownies, orange cranberry loaf and tons of muffins at work and not had the inkling to indulge.

I'm more likely to crave cucumber or bananas or.,.ooo the tomatoes are fantastic right now. We've been getting them from a local farmer who has a greenhouse nearby and they are so sweet and juicy! Mmmmmm!!!

Raw Coconut Macaroons:

3 cups shredded coconut
1 1/2 raw cacao powder or almond flour
3/4 to 1 cup agave nectar (we used raw honey - start out with 1/2 cup)
1/4 cup coconut oil

Mix together with hands.

Refrigerate until firm, scoop into balls and place on tray...refrigerate, or dehydrate.

*add vanilla extract and use almond flour for a vanilla coconut macaroon.

Really Raw Day 10 - I HEART GREENS

I just wanna start out by expressing my gratitude to greens. I love the energy they provide, and all the nutrition they provide. I'm confident that increasing my intake of greens has been incredibly conducive to my healing. Eating more fruit has been a phenomenal switch that has helped so much with cravings. It's so simple I could cry:) People around me are losing the battle to viruses all over the place, And I've managed to avoid getting really sick. I know I'm fighting something right now but I notice it mostly in a sore throat, and I had swollen glands the other morning. That, of course I am willing to attribute to detox, as well as the acne that has 'popped' up here and there. I have been having herb teas at work however. Wonderful, tonic herbs like mint and ginger, dried berries like elder, currant and blueberry, and the odd teaspoon of raw, local honey. It's a beautiful thing, this plant kingdom. It provides us with so much. And this body of mine, that given the right conditions can heal itself!! What a gift.

Really Raw Day 8 - Why didn't I do this a year ago? + refreshing, yummy salad!

Probably because I wasn't ready yet, for whatever reason. But I am truly feeling sooo much better...lighter, more balanced, more motivated! I had a banana for breakfast, cuz I wasn't particularly hungry. I'm just tucking into lunch right now, which is so simple, yet so good: Sprouted quinoa, 1 large grated carrot, 3 green onions over romaine lettuce, with pine nuts (not raw unfortunately, but gonna let that one slide for now!). I juiced one small lemon and added dried basil leaves for dressing. This is what I call intuitive eating. I had no set plans when I went to make lunch, other than in the parameter of fresh and raw, and I weighed out a few other options before birthing this creation:)
I'm feeling a lot more satisfied with simpler foods now. My progress is encouraging, not to mention I've lost 5-6 lbs (my bathroom scale is a tad wonky).

Alright - back to my refreshing, yummy salad! (I'll definitely be making this one again).

Really Raw Day 7 - Truly Amazing!

It's all happening so fast...the green smoothies are a godsend...I can feel my body getting better...less pain...less stomache irritation...less hypoglycemia headaches. Went for 6 hours today between meals and didn't suffer the headaches, stomache pain, irritability or fatigue. Okay, I was a little tired, but I attributed that to me having to get to work by 5:30 am! Irritability...I must admit that there was a bit, but I attribute that mainly to the fact that I don't like what I do for a 'living' (if you can call minimum wage living). But, it is all about to change for the better. I regret not going 100% raw before now. Salut!

Really Raw Day 6 - eventually I plan to stop counting, LOL!

Yeah, I'm feeling really good being raw, though I knew that I would! It's certainly helping me to deal with these stressful times, as I try to work almost full-time and open my new business. Cheers to the future! Feelin' good, lovin' life:)

Sundried Tomato Zucchini Linguine:)

I made...Sundried tomato zucchini linguine tonight...and it rawked! It was my first attempt at such an entree. I pureed pre-soaked sundried tomatoes with a chopped tomato, clove of garlic, 1/2 an avocado, green onions and parsley, and served that over zucchini that I had grated by hand. Man, it was soo good!

Really Raw Day 4

So, end of Day 4, liking the lack of pain I'm feeling (relatively speaking). My energy was a bit lax today, but I've come to realize that I hate what I do, so I figure that's a contributing factor! I'm keen on sticking with raw until at least December. More about my job, since it's my blog: I work at a cafe, started by my friend a few years ago. I was with her BEFORE the beginning, since she brought me on to teach her the ropes of the cafe/book world. I love the cafe, my friend and I are still friends after 3 years of doing this, but I just don't want to serve people animal products anymore. Latte after latte, Do you want whip cream with that? I could scream some days, it makes me crazy to have to make grilled cheeses! Even the smell of many cooked foods turns me off, which I'm hoping isn't permanent:)

Anyhoo, time for a change, and it is on it's way. As of November 15th, I've rented an old Victorian house in my hometown with friends, where I will practice as a herbalist, run my tea company, and run seminars and workshops. I can't wait!

Really Raw Day 3

Great news - I've been completely raw for 2 full days now, and this is the morning of my third day. I've been getting through the cravings for cooked rice and other starches with lots of fruit, and the green smoothies are definitely boosting my energy. I feel pretty darn good - the pain I am accustomed to being in is almost completely gone. I've had the misfortune of being in a couple of car accidents, and had been overweight for most of my life. This has resulted in upper and lower back pain, arthritic hips, neck injury, etc. Not to mention the bunions. These I've had all of my life and made it worse in my teen years and theatre days by jamming my feet into ill-fitting yet stylish shoes:)

I am happy to report that I feel pretty darn good today! Before I decided to commit to raw, I quit coffee so that the first few days of my raw experience wouldn't be too nasty. Now that the worst is over, I know the best is yet to come. What I love about raw from what I've learned is that the results are GUARANTEED if you stick with it, and you can make your food as complicated or as simple as you wish. When I went vegetarian, I had to teach myself a new way of cooking, and I look at raw in a similar light, except that I've got a major headstart! Going vegetarian helped me to lose 75+ lbs, and keep it off for almost 8 years. I can only imagine how much it extended my lifespan! Now, I'm hoping raw will help me to lose that last 25 - 30 lbs, and extend my lifespan even more:)

Abientot!

Giving Thanks - Sunday, October 12, 2008

Not much time to write today, cuz I have to work. It's thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, so I have monday off, and an opportunity to reflect on what I'm grateful for.

I commented on a friend's journal today and realized my comment was sort of becoming a journal, so I felt that it was a good idea to continue the thought in my own journal. So, to pick up where I left off:

I'm doing pretty well not trying, Geneen Roth style. For the first couple of days, I ate whatever I wanted, but the crazy thing is, my appetite is not the same when I'm not under the self-induced pressure of another diet. I've found myself noticing how food makes me feel, and am actually craving greens now. I was going to make broccoli and cheese with rice pasta last night, and was bummed out when I realized I didn't have any broccoli:)

It's still kinda scary, I'm realizing how hard it has been to trust myself. I'm doing all of this while knowing that I indeed have an addiction to sugar. Since sugar is a chemical isomer to cocaine, I don't doubt that it is acting on my body just like any drug. Fine. I've decided not to avoid it, because I'm coming to understand that the psychology of food avoidance can be just as strong as chemical addiction.

I've also realized that I have a very sensitive stomach, and highly acidic foods like sugars and flours give me a feeling in my stomach that sort of mimicks hunger and serves to confuse me. This has been happening to me since I was a child! This means that I have a food sensitivity, and I do have other symptoms.

It's hard not to plan my next diet. I'm frustrated, because I still have signs of toxicity, some of which I've experienced my entire life. I need a lymphatic cleansing in an extreme way, but fasting is not beneficial in a case like mine, where psychology and physical addiction are key influences. So, I'm going to continue to trust my intelligence and intuition, and just hope that I flow toward a path that is in my best interest.

I'll tell ya, trying to listen to my body, my will, my inner child and my intellect is complicated. It can be a bit like dealing with internal terrorists at times!


Namaste

It's good to have goals Wednesday, October 8, 2008

No doubt about it, it's good to have goals. But, it's also good to be honest with yourself, and I've come to understand that I do way better when I'm not modifying my eating habits a la dieting/cleansing etc. When I'm under pressure of starting a new nutritional regime, there's always that "last" muffin or coffee or brownie, what-have-you. When I'm not about to diet, I generally make healthy choices, with the odd indulgence. I've deleted all of my goals, I'm trying out a new approach of not trying, and of letting myself choose, knowing that I will choose wisely. I know what healthy food is, I know what my body needs. I am not going to go crazy, and I will enjoy things a helluva a lot more if I'm not judging myself on everything I put into my mouth.

Exercise. I don't like strength training, and I don't particularly like treadmills (except that they calculate your time and km's, which is helpful.) But I don't want my life to be about that. I like yoga, pilates, and hiking, out in nature with my dogs and my best friend/partner/boyfriend.

I'm determined to get busy enjoying my life, and creating activity that cultivates expansiveness, meditation and communion with nature.

Anyhoo, it seems that I'm on the verge of starting a wellness centre with a couple of other women! We went to view our potential spot, a Victorian mansion in the town where I was born. It was the original hospital in town, and I think we are going to go for it. It has a few ghosts, most prominent was a nurse that used to work there, but she's benign, and I felt something else in the nursery, but I'm not quite sure...it felt like many different presences there...it's going to cost a lot of money initially to get started, but I don't feel like this is going to be a major problem for us. My solar plexus gave me the a-ok feeling when we discussed it today, and it feels right!

I'm very very very very very very excited about this new venture. It's time, and I know that I have a lot to offer my hometown. The group of women that will be running this clinic is composed of strong, compassionate and genuine women, and I think we are going to do very well.

Ahhhh....ciao for now!!

Action update Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Had a neuromuscular therapy treatment this am, then did pilates and a half hour of cardio. I used one of the bikes today, and I think it might be a better way to get into the fitness habit, since it's not as hard on my hips and feet...I have bunions and they can be pretty painful sometimes. Though less so now since I've been detoxing.

My boyfriend tried this Immune tonic tea we had and broke out in a rash a few days ago, and we've been dealing with the healing. I've been treating him with a variety of topical solutions, primarily aloe vera gel with tea tree oil, and lidocaine, a topical pain soother. As he recalls, the same thing has happened with some of his friends with the very same tea. Interesting...makes me want to learn more about Comptonia peregrina, or Sweet Fern. It's a plant native to these parts.

Ciao!

I just can't seem to HATE myself anymore! Saturday, August 2, 2008

I had a bit of a backslide today, right into a bucket of coffee and crappy food...it was a day full of family, and I think that I can attribute the stress eating to that, since I do really really well when I'm not around them...LOL!!

So, I had made arrangements with my dad's sister to meet for lunch today so she could return the family bibles to me (passed onto me after my father's death). She brought my wee little scottish gramma with her so we could catch up. We met at a diner in my hometown, and I had one of those old school greasy diner breakfasts-ya know, coffee, home fries, greek omelette (one of the only vegetarian options of course!) with rye toast, slathered in what was likely margarine. I knew that lunch was likely going to be crappy, so for breakfast I had fresh carrot-apple juice mixed with a greens concentrate. But, being up at dawn as it were today, I was getting pretty hungry by 10 am.

By that point, I had stopped to visit my sister, who lives in my dad's old house. She offered me tea, and the tannins made my stomach hurt so I had to eat something to make it stop...and the only vegetarian option is cold fucking pizza...so that made my lunch ten times worse!

I went to the grocery store after lunch, to get some fresh veggies and kidney beans for a chili I plan to make tomorrow night, and ran into my mother there. She told me to come to her house and she would give me some freezer veggies for my dogs (I'm making their food for them for a couple days-allergy testing).

My grandfather (her father) had visited her that morning, and there was a box of Tim Horton's donuts there...and before I know it I had a blueberry fritter...and then a double chocolate donut!

She gave me a half a loaf of bread from her freezer, and I left it out to thaw for the dogs...and ended up having two slices with peanut butter, and then two more slices with my organic potato leek soup...

That was one helluva binge day! Reminiscent of the good ole days, LOL...the major difference is that right now, I'm ok...normally I would be really, really upset and hate myself for a bit. Spend the rest of the day thinking about how I would make up for it this week through exercise or restricted eating...but I'm not. I still love me, I'm not sitting here drafting a strict regime for the next 6 weeks, I'm actually pretty content and have forgiven myself already.

That, my friends, is a major breakthrough for me!! If I can understand the triggers, identify the warning signs, I can nip these old habits in the bud.

I'm on the second day of my period today. I'm going to let that be a good reason to let this slide. That, and the fact that I love myself too much now to abuse myself over something that is in the past now. All I have is this moment...and this one, and this one, and this one....

Namaste my lovelies!! Hope y'all had a good saturday;)

Sunday night Sunday, August 17, 2008

Well, it's going to be a busy week, I have a booth at a festival this weekend and I have to package a whole lotta tea to sell. That being said, I still have to go to work and stick with my committment to make headway with my health goals.

I know what I need to do to be healthy, and so I'm just trying to add good habits by the handful. Just whatever I can manage. Like taking my multivitamin everyday, eating more raw food, avoiding refined foods (SUGAR!!)...just a little bit of refined sugar will send me over the edge...it really is an addictive chemical. I've been doing really well in avoiding it, favouring natural sugars instead. I've deemed evaporated cane sugar to be okay, since it's not refined and devoid of nutrients. Also, I can have some of it and NOT have it trigger a binge, unlike refined sugar!

So, I just did pilates. That is coming along very well, as I've noticed my strength in that area increasing. I hope to make it to the gym in the morning for the yoga class at 9:15. That's the plan anyway! I still haven't been able to motivate myself to get back into running. All in good time I s'pose. I've been taking that time to spend with my dogs instead, for which I'm sure they are grateful!

Right now, I'm going to go outside and say some prayers, offer tobacco to my sacred friends and family, and feel gratitude for the many gifts I've received!

I am grateful for the opportunity to own a herb farm:)

Journal Entry for August 10, 2008 Sunday, August 10, 2008

A counsellor I saw in high school gave me this excerpt from a Marianne Williamson book, and it helped me a great deal. I remember not being overly impressed with the "God images". But it all makes sense to me now!
When I read the journal entries of friends, I feel bad that I seem to be doing so well right now. And then I remember, "hey - I've been there too"...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented,and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so
that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."

"Authored and published by Marianne Williamson"

Last day of July... Thursday, July 31, 2008

Today was a pretty good day. I didn't accomplish much, but I'm used to that - I often schedule more tasks than I have time or ambition for!

I'm going to bed in a few minutes, it's 9 pm, Sunset. It's a beautiful smatter of pinks and magentas against a pale blue grey...gorgeous, as always. I'm hoping that if I get to bed early, I'll get up with the sun. I want to give my body the rest that it requires as my brain forges new neural pathways as I learn to expand my consciousness. I've become a pretty darn good manifester, and I want to continue on this path of spiritual rebirth.

I ate mostly raw foods today, and I was able to avoid having more than one coffee, and I didn't have any pastries (not even a taste) which is truly hard when I work at the cafe!! I made up a new drink today, a strawberry lemonade chiller...I think it should be the drink special for the rest of the summer:)

I am grateful to have a job where I can be creative and express myself.

I am grateful to have learned so much from my friends

Almost August

So...it's been about two weeks now since I've run! My original goal was to learn to run 10k, but their has been some big shifts happening in my life, and consistency, the very key to making big changes has been lacking in me , obviously. I'm not upset about this, I've just decided to change my goal to 5 k. I'm almost there, and I think I can definitely achieve this by the finish date that I set for myself.

In focusing so much on spiritual endeavours, I've scattered myself a bit. I must remember the physical, and that I still need to balance life in this cultural paradigm with REAL life. For example, I forgot to renew my car insurance (!)and my plate sticker this year! It's actually rather funny, and I realized it, and planned to go and sort things out this week. Last night however, when I was leaving my mother's place, a cop was on the road behind me and noticed my sticker. Then he noticed my pink slip had expired. So, he went back to his cruiser and tried to check out my insurance status. While he was doing that, I grabbed some tobacco, and prayed to the Great Spirit, and my Spirit Guides and Guardians to reveal the compassion and leniency in this situation (driving without insurance is a $5000 fine!) I released the tobacco out my car window, and then a wind-born seed floated into my car, and drifted gently out again. At that point, I knew that they were on the case!

A few minutes passed, and the officer came back. He was unable to check on my insurance status (darn computers) but issued me a ticket for $110 for the outdated plate sticker. I'm going to take it to court, only because I know that the Canadian Justice System is backed up for months, and it will give me time to figure out where that money will come from.

Hehehe...I don't really care! Normally, an event such as this would have sent me into a spiral of self-hatred, and then probably a binge to numb the pain...but now it just made me realize my need for focus, and a need to pull in my resources from the universe. I know that I am taken care of - I have a lot of very worthy friends on the other side, and even a couple here on earth:) Taking better care of my 'paperwork' will be effortless, cuz I said so!

Life, afterall, is all about choices...

Namaste

Oh my stars

Ran 3.5 km's in just over 30 minutes yesterday...I've been off for about a week, cuz I took it a little too hardcore last week and buggered my back. So, in the last week I've been doing yoga and lower back pilates to restore function to my back. I'm going to focus on consistency and time to build up my speed and distance - live & learn!

I'm off to the gym, and then to harvest some herbs, or vice versa. I'm going to miss a couple of prime medicinals if I don't harvest them soon. As for the gym, it's a strength train day, though I may decide to run for a few minutes, just to get used to the idea.

Running update/Buddha knows

Just got in from trail running, boy is it ever hot out there already! I ran for 2 minutes, walked 1, repeated cycle 8 times. I walked for 5 min. before, and for about 15 minutes after. Don't know what that amounts to in km's, don't care right now. Since it's so bloody hot today, I think I'm going to stick around the house and catch up on invoicing etc. Maybe take the dogs for a swim later in the afternoon.

It's just after 10 am, I did wake up a half hour earlier than usual again today, even though I stayed up too late last nite. I plan to hit the gym as soon as they open tomorrow (well, maybe not right at 6:30, it'll likely be 7!) and I'm thinking I'm gonna start running everyday, provided my body can cope with it! I feel that it would be beneficial to do yoga on a daily basis too, to keep my muscles relaxed and fluid. It is time for me to achieve my goals, I've been too easy on myself, and too hard on myself at the same time. Life is meant to be joyful, believe it or not. It can be effortless and enjoyable to be active and disciplined. It's all in the mindset that you create your world from!

In high school, I had a history teacher who showed us movies for most of the semester. Best class ever!! But one image that has always stuck with me is from a movie where Keanu Reeves plays Siddartha(!) I think it's called Little Buddha, but it may be called Siddartha. Anyway, at some point in the movie, he is standing in the river, and it occurs to him that: "If the string is too tight it will break, if the string is too loose it won't play." D'uh! Such an epiphany really - it is not about being too strict, and it is not about having no restrictions. It is about finding a perfect balance of tension that allows the perfect vibration to carry out when the string is plucked. I am that string!

FREEDOM

I'm still struggling with the diet mentality. Every now and then I still find myself starting the plans for a diet of some sort, or a time period or restriction, yadda yadda yadda. But, as I continually shift my consciousness from my head to my heart, I am finding that my vibrational level is increasing and the changes are becoming more effortless. Ahhhhh....:)

August 1 Friday, August 1, 2008

It's my mother's birthday today! I worry about her, but I've decided to avoid the trap of trying to change her. She has very self-destructive habits, but until she wants to change, I can't help her. If the day comes when she asks me to help her, I will help her, I'm just afraid it will be too late...I'm afraid she may follow in her mother's footsteps and get breast cancer...but not good to dwell on that!

I didn't wake up at sunrise this morning, but rather I awoke at moonrise, and couldn't sleep! By the time I got back to sleep, I woke up again at my usual time. But, I know all too well that creating new habits takes time, so I'll try again tonight!

I realized finally something that I've 'known' for awhile - if you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. I have some serious patterns that need to be addressed in my life, so I'm trying to shake things up a bit.

I'm surviving this by not being hard on myself, and recognizing how far I've come! I had the opportunity to reflect upon that when I went to a family gathering in July...my sister asked me what I was planning to bring, and when I said a rice salad, she said she 'hoped I might bring something that people would eat' (!) So, that day I just went to the grocery store and bought a bucket of potato salad for them. They had chips and pop, hotdogs and hamburgers...potato salad and pasta salad. I had some of the pasta salad and ate weeds out of their yard:) I knew well enough to have eaten before I went!

That was a great opportunity to see how much my diet has improved over the years. And it sure didn't happen overnight.

I am grateful for the mirror that reflects myself back to me in everyone I meet....

Namaste